Meeting old friends for the first time: Making "real" friends on Facebook

I have always been skeptical of the ubiquity of Social Media (especially Facebook) and its tendency to supplant the need for real, human interaction. This weekend radically and irreversibly shifted my view of how Social Media can impact our real, physical lives.

Over the last several months, Birdy has encouraged me to reach out to friends from the past with whom I had lost contact. I have found great comfort in reconnecting with friends I have not seen or heard from in as many as twenty years. In finding and rekindling these old friendships, I have filled in many gaps in my memory and rediscovered lost parts of who I was, who I am. Since beginning this process, I have had the distinct pleasure of introducing Birdy to four of the people from my teenage years that played a major role in forming the man I have become.    

This weekend, Birdy and I flew down to California and, among other activities, had occasion to meet my new/old friend Pete. He had popped up on Facebook a few months ago because we had fifteen or so friends in common. His name and his face were somewhat familiar, but I couldn’t place him. What the heck, I sent him a friend request. Within a few minutes he accepted and sent me a message:

This went back and forth for about half an hour and we still could not piece it together. We did, however, begin to make a connection. As we shared the details of where life had taken us in the two decades since the time we didn’t remember going to high school (Leigh High School in San Jose, CA) together, the seeds of a new friendship began taking root. We cheered for each other's successes and shared the lament from our tales of woe.

Herein lies what had been my chief complaint with Social Media: I am not actually “friends” with the vast majority of people who are my friends on Facebook. Many were friends in high school and we got along just fine, but we are all grown up and our lives have gone in a million different directions. We've lost touch and we now share a pseudo-friendship through each others' social media highlight reel. 

This was the first time in which I had added a friend on Facebook from high school with whom I exchanged direct messages and had a “real” conversation...and he was not even my friend to begin with. And yet, since beginning this correspondence, I have found someone with whom I share a great many interests AND get along with AND find interesting. 

As it happened, Birdy and I were travelling to California this weekend and had the privilege to meet again, for the first time, my friend Pete. Seeing him in person did nothing to refresh my memory to recall any event, circumstance, class, dance, assembly or party that we attended together. He and I went to the same middle school and high school during the same years and were friends with dozens of people in common and neither of us could remember the other. But from the minute we sat down for a drink, it felt like we had been friends the whole time.  

From Left to Right: Pete, Birdy and Myko at Lefty O'doul's in SF

So, the fact that Facebook was responsible for bringing together, again, two people who were otherwise perfect strangers has made me re-estimate the power and the value of Social Media. I should mention that Birdy and I met on Tinder...lol 

Committing too much

There comes a time when you have to admit that you've overdone it; that you've committed to too much. For anyone who is ambitious you will know the feeling. How many of us work, and then commit to our kids to take them somewhere, and commit to the school that we will volunteer, and commit to a community organization that we will help with the food drive/bake sale/bazaar/fair/etc? Learning when to say when is a skill that must be developed. And neither Myko, nor myself, have mastered it yet.

We've had this goal to complete tasks within 30 days. To challenge ourselves to get projects done by establishing a deadline. And, while the experiment hasn't been going on too long, we've been pleased with pushing ourselves and meeting (almost) those goals. Of course, like any goal in life, you have to be willing to concede to life; to modify your own expectations and goals to accommodate the things life puts in front of you. Life (i.e. kids, colds, traffic, work issues, broken appliances, lack of sleep, etc.) can get in the way of your goals. And this month, it did.

Our July 30-Day-Challenge was cut short already by the overrun of the June 30-Day-challenge. In spite of that, we were determined to make a small goal for ourselves for July and get something done in two weeks. In fact, we decided to do TWO things: 1) Complete the pantry repair (which was damaged as a result of the hot water heater busting), and 2) Work out 3 times a week and make a meal plan.

I'm still confident that we can achieve one of them, but I am resigning myself that both are not going to happen. First, for the pantry, I still haven't ordered a second box of flooring for the pantry (we think we have enough but aren't sure). Second, there are simply not enough days left in this month to prep, execute and complete the pantry repair. Both of us have been ultra busy and stressed out at work leaving us little energy to do much in the evening other than the standard necessities (which are no small feat in their own right) - laundry, ironing, cooking, cleaning up the kitchen, getting ready for the upcoming work day.

Our health challenge, on the other hand, is still attainable. Last week we walked or worked out at least 3 times (Myko far surpassed that). Before the 31st we will be able to fit in three more bouts of exercise and I am committing myself to making a meal plan; to scouring Pinterest and any other recommended sites to find healthy, delicious recipes. I've already done some on the fly but I would like to have a written plan so that it is easier to stick to. Removing the age old question, "what are we going to have for dinner?" will help my stress level, will allow me more time to be at home and less stops at the grocery store after work and will keep us from defaulting to something easy that may not be as healthy.

It's extremely difficult to set a goal and not meet it, at least for people like us. But I've got to adjust the focus on what we have been able to achieve - some relaxation, time with our kids, travel, keeping up the regular chores - instead of the one thing we haven't.

I'm excited at the potential for next month. A WHOLE month to work on yet another goal. Now we just have to determine what it will be.

Breakfast is THE most important meal of the day

I've never been much of a breakfast eater. Frankly coffee is the only thing I really want in the morning. But I understand that it's important to eat, especially in the morning, to start your day off right. I also recognize that when I have breakfast I am less hungry throughout the day.

Since we had a big day of work ahead of us on Sunday, and I had just seen the Sunset magazine cover at the grocery store checkstand, we purchased the ingredients for the Parmesan toasts featured in this month's issue. The plan was to wing it of course - I mean I can see what the ingredients are - but I found the recipe on their website just to keep myself in check and make sure I was on the right track.

Like every recipe I try, I just had to augment it a tiny bit and add my own twist. I don't know why I can't leave any recipes alone, but in my opinion it makes it better so, why not?

Here's how I made them (for 2):

Ingredients

4 slices bacon

8 asparagus spears, ends trimmed

1 fresh  basil sprig

2 slices crusty bread such as ciabatta, sliced 1 in. thick

1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese

2 large eggs 

1 medium tomato, sliced

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Preparation

1. Cook bacon over medium high heat until desired crispiness. Remove bacon from the pan. Add asparagus and sauté in the bacon grease until tender when pierced, about 5 minutes. Transfer asparagus to a plate. Add basil to pan and swirl around until completely wilted.

2. Put bread slices in pan and toast in bacon grease, turning once 30 seconds in, about 1 minute total. Sprinkle about 2 tbsp. parmesan onto each piece of bread and cook until cheese starts to melt and bread starts to brown slightly, about 2 minutes. Transfer bread to plates.

3. Reduce heat to medium and in the same pan, gently fry both eggs to your liking. Top each piece of bread with 2 prosciutto slices, a slice or two of tomato and half the asparagus. Set an egg on top of each and sprinkle servings with salt and pepper.

If you are interested in the recipe as it was published in Sunset, you can find it here.

We were already devouring them when I thought to take a picture

These were absolutely delicious. I can't wait to make them again. From start to finish they take about 15 minutes. And all of the cooking is in one pan so the mess is relatively small. 

MMMMMmmmmm. I wish I had one on my plate right now....

Life is pretty dag-gone good

These last several months have been a breeze. I am reminded daily of how lucky I am to be alive and what good fortune has come to visit me. Every day I wake up I am thankful for another opportunity to contemplate the mystery that is this life and pursue any/everything that moves me.

I awaken every morning to the smiling face of a darling gal that loves me, pushes me, makes me laugh, keeps me guessing and inspires me to be the very best I can be. And, while I make every effort to be my very best, she accepts my shortcomings and allows me to be whomever I choose to be (warts, bullshit webbed-toes and all). 

In the universe of possibilities, I stand ready and eager to seize each moment. I revel in this inescapable feeling that this is what it feels like when your dreams are coming true. All that we set out to accomplish, we achieve. All that we set our minds to, we bring to life. 

Each moment feels like the beginning of a new adventure...an inspired adventure. This is a helluva ride and I am so glad you could tag along for each step in our journey.

-MyKO  

Fun and exciting weekend with kids and friends

This weekend found us heading down to Olympia for the Dirty Dash. Birdy loaded up the truck and she and the Big Sho picked me up from work (I gave her kids the nick names Big Li'l and Massa Shogun and the two of them are referred together as the "Big Sho"). We swung by and picked up Abbicus and Paco Sanchez and we were off in search of adventure.

We were going to be a part of the  IBEW Local 77 Renew Committee's team running in the annual mud run called the Dirty Dash. Five of us pitched in and rented a house on Summit Lake. This place was immaculate: fully furnished and exquisitely appointed. Great deck overlooking the lake.

The weather was better than we could have hoped for;sunny, light breeze, clear blue skies and no bugs. The kids were in the water within a few minutes after our arrival. We were joined by our house-mates Ben and Dusty (her real name is Shelby, but I will always know her as Dusty...its a long story...I will tell you all about it in another post some time) Cook just as we had finished unpacking. Matt Reese made it sometime around midnight. Everyone had a blast.

After a night spent tying on a few too many Friday night, we crawled out of bed and made ready for the main event: It was time to get dirty! How better to spend a scorching hot afternoon than to trounce around in pools of mud and drink beer? All in all, we had a really fun time and got to hang out and be a part of the IBEW Local 77 Renew Committee's fun event.

Birdy had the brilliant idea to bring along black trash bags for the car ride back to the lake house after the race. Her idea was to step into the bag and poke holes in the bottom of the bag and stick your feet through. We just needed to get back to the lake house without turning the truck into a mud pit and jump into the lake to wash off. I am pretty sure that half of the lake turned a shade of brown for a few minutes after we all got cleaned up.

We had a blast. The kiddos really bonded. We can't wait for next time we can all get together and make mischief. Can anyone say, Seaside?

-MyKO

Ongoing happiness

We are attempting to spend every day focusing on the things in life that bring joy, laughter and happiness. Today is a day to be happy; to have a smile plastered across your face. Yes, let's do that.

Returning Home from Home

This long weekend spent rediscovering the place I came from served to remind me that home is where you make it. While I have fond memories of this place, there are new roads to discover, new paths to follow and new friends to come along for the ride.

It is the people that made for the biggest impact this trip. The nearly 20 years and thousands of miles that have separated us have done nothing to steal the joy or quell the laughter we share. And an even greater joy was found: Birdy joined in on the fun as though she'd been there all along.

Here's to making sure we keep moving forward...and making sure we don't forget who our real friends are...and to making sure its not 20 years until we all get together again!

Boys are back in town

Sometimes you don't see people for twenty years......and it still feels the same as when you were kids. 

A toast to a new path

This blog is, for all intents and purposes, an online journal of a new path. One taken by two people who have lived more than a few separate lives; lives filled with happiness, joy, new experiences, as well as sorrow, and pain, and heartbreak.

Now, there's nothing to say that this new life won't be filled with many of the same things, but we are starting this one out with a clear objective - to have fun, explore and live life to its fullest. In everything that we do, we see, we hear, we eat, we work on, we are committed to living in that moment. No longer will it be acceptable to drone on in a monotonous, day-to-day, drill it out routine where you lose sight of the beauty and joy of the little things that come along throughout the day, EVERY day.  

It is easy to get caught looking at life through gray colored glasses. Especially after the life you thought you were after, the life you intended to live until you died, ends. But every now and then someone waltzes into the bar where you're slaving away on a letter for work, and changes your perspective - opens up a world of new possibilities. Not only in the sense of new experiences, but also by causing a 180 degree flip on the way you see the world. There are yellow lenses you have the option to look at things through, where the sun always shines and, when you take a moment to reflect, life is pretty damn good. 

That's the path we've decided to take. And so far, the ride has been exhilarating. So much so that we decided we should write it down and share it with the world. Here's a toast - to new adventures with a new perspective....

The Journey Begins